Ok, well I haven't been a good LJ-er now have I? My only excuse is that my best friend moved in and things have been hectic for the last two months. BUT I have good news, people! Well, sort of...
I, pathetic as I am, have finally gotten a real boyfriend! I know, yay me, right? Wrong. I haven't had a real boyfriend... ever really. They were all long distance relationships before now. Not over the internet(not that there is anything wrong with that) but I only saw them once a month maybe and otherwise it was on the telephone.
UNfortuanately, there are flaws. I know that there are always flaws and maybe I'm being picky but I don't want to settle, right? I mean, I don't want to rush into things and then regret my choices just because it's my first real relationship. But I am very... reserved, I guess, in the emotional and trust department. It takes me a very long time to love something or some one. Even puppies. I've been called cold and a sarcastic bitch before and sometimes I really wonder if I am flawed or damaged in some way. I think I'm like this because of all the losses in my life and it is one of my defence mechanisms. I laugh instead of crying. I make jokes at funerals. I am uncomfortable with extreme emotions, whether I'm feeling it or someone close to me. I avoid them at all cost if I am able to. Like I am now changing the subject to something funny. It's a reflex...
You know what my boyfriend, Micah, said to me? Well, we were talking during a double date with my bestfriend and her date. Micah started acting up (sometimes I feel more like a mother than a girlfriend and he's older than me by 8 years) and I asked him to talk quietly and to stop bouncing around. He looked over at me a said, "You know, you take the F out of fun." I then calmly looked him dead in the eye and replied, "Yeah, that may be, but I put the F U in a lot of other things."
I still don't think he got past the sexual inference. Geez... look deeper, buddy. Of course Belinda, my best friend and her date practically had convulsions, they were laughing so hard. Sigh... that was a fun night. One of the best I've had in a very long time.
So... I'll leave you for now but if you have any questions or suggestions, I'll reply to everyone. Help and opinions are welcomed.
Ciao for now!